Does this happen to you? Does it happen so much you'd like to wear a t-shirt stating the answer in all forms? Or how about the question you get over and over when your mariner's gone? "So, when's he coming back?" Again, first question, as if that's the essence of your being, the purpose of your existence.
Let me insert a little disclaimer here before I go on. I realize that people genuinely care about Beady and want to know about his comings and goings and I also understand that friends and family worry about me from time to time being alone, so it's only natural they'd want to know when Beady's returning. And both of us really appreciate that, truly we do. (Okay, that's the end of the disclaimer.) But just imagine, pretty please for a moment, having that question posed to you on a loop. It's what everyone leads with, everyone.
Beady has been famous over the years, at least with me, in his varied responses. 'When are you headed back to sea?' has been answered by him enthusiastically with...
"Never, I'm retired."
"I like the Wizard of Oz." (Just like that kid from 'A Christmas Story')
"In an hour."
"Are those real?"
"My wife is super crazy."
"I have diarrhea."
"When are you going back to work?"
All to no avail, I might add, even when he tells the simple truth. When it really begins to grate on us is answering those questions over and over for the same people every time we see them again, people who for some rude reason don't listen the first three times you told them, "When were you going back again?" "When's Beady coming home again?" It's maddening. I used to work with a woman who would ask me the latter question every single day, I'm not joking. The only change-up she ever graced me with was when Beady came home, then it was, "When's Beady going back to sea?" I answered her with a smile at times, others through gritted teeth...at least I got the weekends off. What I came to realize, though it didn't lessen the irritation, was that she asked simply to make conversation. Apparently, there was nothing of value in my person to warrant her engaging me in a more interesting dialogue. That was all she saw me as, some guy's wife who goes to sea. Listen, I've been kicked out of bars, I've got a lot more going on than just being someone's wife!
|Salty doesn't like questions either.|
And as for my question, specifically "When's he coming back?" Here comes Bad Wife again...sometimes, I don't want to think about it. Sometimes, I want to forget I have a husband who's not home beside me, where he's supposed to be. Sometimes, 70 days goes by much faster when I don't have to think about Beady every single moment of my life. And there you have it, another window into my horrible soul. Mwuah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!!!
It's a toughy, but something that I don't see changing any time soon, unless I actually did get a t-shirt with all possible answers to those questions, or maybe if I started weeping uncontrollably when they asked? Or perhaps I could ask them not to ask that question anymore when they ask it! Get it? But that probably wouldn't work either because in the time it took me to explain it to them, I could've answered their original question and left.
All kidding aside, yes, it infuritates me on occasion and I know Beady hates it, but...I'm guessing we'd probably ask the same type of questions if we were living on the other side of the fence. People are people. However, I would absolutely love some advice on those types of questions, in the small hope that I could change the game, so to speak. Please, gimme whatcha got, I'm always willing to try out new material! And in the interim, I'll leave you with a new mariner friend's response to that lovely, lovely question.
Them: So,when do you go back to sea?
Dave: At the end of the month...
I try not to think about it, but
thanks for bringing it up.
You see? Even honesty doesn't work!
Copyright 2013 Callie's Mariner